I absolutely hate the word “blog”

Courtesy of Gizmodo (via imgur via Digg).

Less than one minute into my work day, my right sandal fell apart. Specifically, the two industrial staples and two deep nail/rivet things popped right out of the wooden footbed, leaving nothing to hold down the leather strap keeping my foot in the sandal. GRR!

However, no task is too daunting for this handy lass. I MacGyvered my shoe back together using my dexterity, the original two staples and one of the nails (the other had gone missing), plus a few more Swingline staples and some Scotch tape from a coworker’s desk. (He also loaned me a screwdriver, so I could stop using my CamelBak water bottle to hammer everything together.)

So far, so good! I may not exactly build my own furniture, but don’t ever say I ain’t handy!

Okay, so technically they’re called mohop. But The Infinity Sandal is a damn good nickname!  Normally, I consider the blurbs from Seattle Picks to be a tad too recycled and wordy (I know, I know, soooo ironic) for my taste. But this one really looks like a gem.  And in case you haven’t realized, that shoe pictured to the left is ALL THE SAME SHOE.  Just different ribbons strapping it onto the foot!

They come in three different heel heights, as well as different toe shapes, and they come with a set of five different ribbons of your choosing, and you can purchase additional ribbons or just use your own, presumably.  And of course, they have really detailed tying instructions, plus a printable sizing chart, and a gallery of all the ideas other customers have come up with — what a refreshingly complete and helpful website!

I think I’m in love!  Problem is, I tend to destroy wooden-soled shoes like you wouldn’t (woodent?) believe — I scuff them, I crack or chip off bits of them, etc.  And with cheaper shoes that are stained or painted, this means that the exposed chip or crack is a different color.  BUT, since these babies appear to be made of solid maple, cherry and walnut, in theory I wouldn’t have that problem.  And how great is that?  Plus, I bet I could send them back for touching up, or just have my carpenter dad do it for me!  Totally going on my wish list.

A bunch of my coworkers have been sick lately, and I started to feel like I was coming down with something last Thursday and Friday. I was very determined not to let myself fall ill yet again this year, as I had had quite enough illness with that bout of mono that caused me to temporarily lose my job, thankyouverymuch. So I went on an Immunity Quest.

I had Grant buy me FOUR shots of wheatgrass juice from Jamba Juice on Friday afternoon, and then I got myself another four shots on Saturday and another four shots again today. And guess what? No sicky!

So I suppose our kitty is not the only wheatgrass fanatic in our household, after all. Maybe we’ll fight over it.

I had a weird little flashback to childhood the other day, when I came across an odd button in the elevator at my doctor’s office. The button, instead of reading “STOP” or “Emergency”, read RUN STOP, kind of like the old Commodore 64 keyboards.  I don’t think I’ve seen that command (outside of the fake keyboards programmed into some Virtual Console games) in 20+ years.

Holy crap, has HOBO International failed us this time. I literally did a triple take a few weeks ago when I stumbled upon this display at Nordstrom — trust me, the photo doesn’t do it justice, because these bags will SCAR YOUR RETINAE.

The colors are the same fluorescent neons of my 80s childhood, and are NOT WELCOME BACK IN MY LIFE. I don’t know what dried-up marketing exec came up with this ploy, but curse them!  This brand is known for being sleek, clean and above all else, BASIC and NEUTRAL.  I will cry if neon really is the new black.

To be fair, Jen bought a bright but pale blue wallet from this collection that looks lovely — so not all is lost.  But the pinks, oranges, chartreuse yellows and chartreuse greens can go back in the vault, please.  It’s not retro until it no longer hurts to look at it.

We just spotted this little vehicle when we were at brunch this weekend. I normally don’t love cars that are totally 100% decked out in marketing hype — too flashy for my taste.

However, Grant spotted this nifty little detail on the side: a built-in card holder! Kinda cool, different, and WAY more welcome than finding unsolicited fliers stuck to my windshield.

I actually grabbed a card to see how well it worked.  (Mildly damp, but still totally functional and no leaky/streaky ink problems.)  And I called the business to see if they would give me the name of the vendor who set up this little card thingy — I just might try and fanagle one for my biz, too!

ETA: They cost $10 if you hunt for a deal, and I just affixed a red one to my car this afternoon. :)

I recently got a copy of Dragon NaturallySpeaking, so I could type by dictation. (This decision arose partly from recurring tennis elbow that makes typing painful, and partly from my frustratingly long commutes from Redmond.) I thought I could dictate the text of the book I’m working on for my online dating consultation company while I was stuck in traffic, ya know? So I busted out the old Logitech headset-with-mic that I haven’t used since WoW raiding days of yore, and I gave it a whirl for the first time this morning.

OH MY GOD. This isn’t even close to language. It honestly reminds me of the linguistic disorder I learned about during college called Wernicke’s Aphasia, in which a certain area of the speech center of the brain is damaged in such a way that patients retain animated, fluid speech that is completely content-less and incoherent. A nickname of this syndrome is “word salad“.

Ladies and gentlemen, it seems that my voice dictation software needs a wee bit of training before it accurately captures my speech. You can’t make this shit up, people. Enjoy.

Good morning I’m currently working on Asian spies is a little bit reengineering however,.

I have no idea Latin American 1110. I know that I know he is. I know there’s a lot of know if you

everyone is getting done in.

In an online dating? Congratulations and that no one can and that if you give.

And I would leave you. If there is? Difficult mountain.

One.

Waiting for a late-night everything? No I’m not minimum. You and your women noted by you. The diagram that you doesn’t mean you’re writing your danger personality enlightened on a brand-new look at all of your photograph exhibit name marble on the lottery. There is no need to go back to year of of the mainstream not been any young you begin here know. Usually Baden-Württemberg you know, the one in which you genuinely enjoying yourself, that was your you and your winning I’m you ever do you mean, you are using your picture and the a lot of John you are right the beauty of digital cameras being a mean we you know when you zoom into the living room you.

We know he means it when you knew you were the one I didn’t know I you never really know that you do you mine. You need me to write it down when I heard 1. However, the remaining years of online meeting you in your you are you reasonable me know if you, or newly named online. You never really know if you get a airport, the little white lie already you may how do you know you are you. However he is the you, you you you you you you you you, you invited me. I leaned that you didn’t find the other person wonderful, were a worry anyway not right for you. You are the you are reading now start, to know if you are you are oh you are you. I normally, though, if you’re going to be easy,

And… scene.

I swore I wouldn’t wear heels at my wedding. I SWORE. I didn’t want to be any taller, I didn’t want to be uncomfortable, and I didn’t want to trip when I walked down the aisle or danced with my dad. But guess what?

JIMMY CHOOS AT THE RACK FOR $100. Beautiful, delicate off-white silk strappy delicious sandals with tiny brilliant rhinestone buckles. Somehow miraculously available in an elusive size 42, and marked down from $499. And in pristine condition. WHO CAN BLAME ME?

Now I’m going to be a walking/stumbling cliché of all the stupid mistakes brides make.  I’m going to trip and fall and twist my ankle; my heels will sink into the soft ground/carpet and get stuck or dirty; and when I inevitably get too uncomfortable and change into shorter comfier shoes at the reception, my dress is going to be too long.  Alas… the things I do for, um, Choo.

So there’s this stupid little head shop in Fremont and Lake City called Piece of Mind.  Now you MIGHT think that’s a cute little pun, but let’s examine things closer.  Take a look at their logo to the left.

So that’s a PEACE symbol, right? Like, world peace, peace on earth, peace and goodwill. Or PEACE of MIND. So you see, the name PIECE OF MIND would only be a good pun if the interpretation of the homonym /pIs/ that they were going for was, in fact, the PIECE meaning. I.e. a piece of pie, let me give you a piece of my mind, etc. FOR EXAMPLE.

So unless they’re trying to indicate that their shop, instead of giving one ‘piece of mind’, actually somehow robs them of a small piece of their mind, then they’re clearly not quite grasping the concept here.  And if, in fact, the whole piece thing IS in fact their desired marketing angle, then God help us all.

As another case study, let’s take a looksie at an example of a GOOD pun using the term /pIs/: Peace a Pizza, whose logo and name ACTUALLY MAKE SENSE.  Because, you see, traditionally you eat a PIECE of pizza, so changing their name to reflect the PEACE meaning instead is actually a valid pun here, that’s witty and consistent with their logo and branding.  Please take note, stoners of Seattle. Put down the pipe and pick up a thesaurus.

GOD THIS INFURIATES ME SO MUCH EVERY TIME I DRIVE BY THE PLACE.  Thank you for letting me get it off my chest, Imaginary Readers.  All better now.