I absolutely hate the word “blog”

Every time I’ve had to spell something over the phone using words to clarify each letter, I’ve failed miserably.  Not at the spelling part, mind you — at the clarification part.  I never learned the NATO Phonetic Alphabet or any other useful and easily memorizable way of doing things, so I always panic and make up the weirdest words on the spot.  Here are some actual examples that I recall having used, much to the amusement and/or confusion of the person on the other end of the line:

A as in Alfred (always used in conjunction with H, below)
B as in Bat (because NOTHING else sounds like “bat”, right?  Totally safe choice)
C as in chlamydia (I kid you not, it was the first thing that popped into my mind.  I think I’d just watched a CSI rerun or something.); also C as in clavicle
D as in Delphi; D as in dingo
E as in Euclid (total failure — of COURSE they put a U when I did this.  Also, who the foxtrot remembers geometry names and also works at a call center?)
F as in frog
G as in gorilla (sensing a theme); also G as in guano (see B, above)
H as in Hitchcock (see A)
I as in Iggy Pop (and I don’t even listen to his music)
N as in Nigeria
R as in roulette; R as in red (another smashingly clear choice)
U as in Uganda
X as in xylophone
Z as in Zimbabwe

…and so on and so forth.  So the other day, when a post-ROTC coworker of mine exclaimed “Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!” over something on my computer screen, I immediately hijacked him from his actual work and made him teach me the entire NATO alphabet thingy and force me to repeat it back to him until I had it down pat.  So now I’m theoretically able to communicate the spelling of awkward names much more easily (except for ones containing the letter K — I always forget that one, because “kilo” is NOT A WHOLE WORD, people!  Sheesh!).

Never been prouder.  Victor Alpha out.

Theoretically, I won’t be working insane hours after this week… which means I might actually be able to blog again soon! I know you can barely contain your excitement, Imaginary Readers, but do your best. :)

aggro \AG-roh\, noun:
Short for aggression.

wife aggro \waif AG-roh\, noun:
When the aggression of the gamer’s (female) spouse interferes with his/her ability to play video games.

Can also be expanded to other family members or circumstances that interfere with gameplay.  Aka “husband aggro”, “cookie aggro,” “kitty aggro”, etc.

Not always applicable.

“Tendonitis”, according to the Virginia Mason ER.
“Tendinitis” (Redirected from Tendonitis), according to Wikipedia.
“Tendynitis”, according to me and Grant mocking the above disparity.

No matter how you slice it, my tendons are itising, thanks to a recent on-the-job injury. So I won’t be blogging as vivaciously until the condition subsides. But never fear, Imaginary Readers! I shall return soon!

So Target is a fun place. Grant and I have been particularly delighted by their Hello Kitty Band-Aids, which have been appearing in the travel section for a few months now.

I randomly strolled by the full-on first aid aisle to see if they had bigger boxes with assorted sizes of delightful pink bandages, and I was shocked by the array I found!

I mean, seriously. Let’s go through this, shall we? Clockwise from top left, we have My Little Ponies, Strawberry Shortcake, NASCAR, Batman, Spiderman, ScoobyDoo, CareBears, Barbie, Hello Kitty, Dora the Explorer, Dora’s explorador pal Diego (in case you’re not comfortable enough with your eight-year-old masculinity to rock a female icon on your boo-boo, of course), and two varieties of SpongeBob SquarePants. And in case that’s not enough for ya, the entire top row of Nexcare Tatoo Bandages ranging from Nemo to Hannah Montana.

And next up, we have one of the most delightfully creepy products ever made, also featuring some spectacular name branding. And I’m leaving ‘er full size, just so you can enjoy the true glory that is a trip to Target’s Health section. Enjoy, Imaginary Readers. You’ve earned it.

(I agree, the name’s a bit too subtle. Can’t win ‘em all.)