I absolutely hate the word “blog”

This time, I’m trying to figure out how to make my new iPhone Bluetooth Headset function with Ventrilo, the chat program our guild uses during WoW raids.  (Yeah — tech geek meets gamer nerd, I know.  But does anyone know the answer to this?)

I was told by a Best Buy employee with gamer cred that headsets with Bluetooth 2.0* capability would be able to pair with the PC and function as a microphone in Ventrilo.  While I can get the pairing part to work just fine, I’m not able to get the mic in Vent working.  At all.  Ever.

But Grant procured me a free USB microphone/headset, so I may just give up on this whole Bluetooth-to-Vent thing.  And besides, my Apple Bluetooth hotness is fabulous, whether I can raid with it or not.

Despite all the many reviews pooh-poohing its admittedly shitty audio quality and short battery life, I love having a headset that a) has a charge and pairing indicator on my phone, b) doesn’t painfully grip my ear like every other headset I’ve tried, and c) makes me look like much less of a tool than other Bluetooth headset wearers.

* And as an aside, Bluetooth 2.0 sounded totally made up, until I Googled it. What WILL these kids come up with next.

OH MY GOD. I am SO FRUSTRATED with security questions lately! Guess that’s my fault for doing my banking online, but holy crap. This last round, I literally DID NOT KNOW THE ANSWER to any of the available remaining questions for my FIFTH required security thingamabob. So what did I have to do? MAKE UP an answer, and store it in a Notepad file called “Security Questions”, because I will FORGET otherwise and my account will be locked down due to suspected theft. Again. Awesome. Nice and subtle and theft-proof, there.

I mean, I know this topic has been done before, but I’m just not done harping. My favorite is when they put completely subjective questions in there — “What’s your favorite hobby?” Well, jackass, it was stone sculpture back when I opened the account SEVEN MILLION YEARS AGO. Now I prefer World of Warcraft, and no fucking way is that the correct security answer.

Or how about, “What’s your favorite movie?” Um, it was probably The Rocky Horror Picture Show, back before I had taste, and now, it depends if you mean the public answer (Being John Malkovich) or the private one (Finding Nemo). Or whatever film du jour I’ve just seen and fallen in love with, because I AM NOT SO CLOSED-MINDED AS YOU, CHASE FINANCIAL SERVICES. YOU CAN HAVE MULTIPLE FAVORITES, IT’S OKAY. STEP OUTSIDE THE BOX. Or at least customize the box to account for things like middle school and self-censorship around snobby film students.

Or the really memory-taxing ones, that catch you on a technicality — “Where was your first job?” Um, fuck if I know? Does babysitting count, or are we talking real wages, or my first full-time job, or my first lemonade stand, or my first job where I received an actual check instead of cash but does it matter that I was getting paid under the table because I was only fifteen and couldn’t legally work for another year but they needed a Spanish teacher willing to take eight bucks an hour and I was more fluent than the older gals so all the checks had “misc. office supplies” written in the memo field? THAT DOESN’T FIT IN YOUR FORMS EITHER, ASSHAT.

So good, I’m plugging him for free. But you gotta click on the image to view the full size with text details. Go nuts, Imaginary Readers.

Hi Virginia,

This is shameless commercial plug for a new product, hopefully, however, it is just creative enough for you to appreciate.

We just introduced a new line of personalized condoms called You Condoms (http://YouCondoms.com). Now anyone can create their own condom calling cards; great for occasions, events or a little self promotion ;-)

If you would like a few of your own Virginia Condoms, just say the word!

Warm regards,

Adam

Adam K. Glickman | President & CEO
Condomania
1011 N Orange Dr.
Los Angeles, CA 90038
Phone: 323-969-0102 x 201 | Fax 323-969-0119
http://www.condomania.com
Email: Adam@Condomania.com

Global Board Member
The Entrepreneurs’ Organization
500 Montgomery Street, Suite 500
Alexandria, VA 22314-1437, USA
Tel: +1-703-837-6061 Fax: +1-703-519-1864
Email: aglickman@eonetwork.org | Web http://www.eonetwork.org

So I don’t mean to be one of those people. Really, I don’t. I’m just in love with the fact that I finally have a gadget that’s gloat-worthy. But the last thing I want to be is one of those iPhone snobs, ya know? (Too late, I know.) So one of the first things I did when I got my phone (besides drink heavily and belt out ballads in Rock Band — it was a *birthday* gift, after all) was delete the “Sent from my iPhone” email signature.

But believe it or not, I’m finding I need to put in some kind of signature, so I can more easily create a Gmail filter that will allow me to sort the iPhone photos I email to myself. And because Gmail likes to over-filter and/or under-specify a bit, I have to come up with a signature that makes my phone-sent emails recognizable from my non-phone ones. So back to Signature Square One.

Once I figured out that I needed a phone-specific signature, I got stumped. The only real-life person I know who has an original signature is Hen, but I don’t wanna be the lame kid that copies the idea too late in the trend. (Hers says “iPhone love may result in typos”. So true, so succinct, so cute, so HEN. Not mine for the taking.) So being the witty, original, thoughtful, humorous writer that I am, I immediately started Googling for ready-made iPhone signature suggestions I could use.

Read the rest…

Check out this sidewalk chalk I spotted at Target the other day. I tell ya, these kids of ours are getting spoiled.

Not only does it have nicely-pointed, bi-color sticks (with secondary and even tertiary colors, as opposed to the old-school pink, blue and yellow), but they’re apparently 3-D.

Yep, you just put on your special Crayola (TM) goggles, and the whole world shifts and it looks like your damn driveway butterfly is flapping its gossamer wings or something. I don’t know. I sort of half-heartedly tried to test them out in the store, but I probably would’ve been escorted out if I’d been successful.

When I was a kid, sidewalk chalk came in a BUCKET. I’m just sayin’. Next thing you know we’re gonna have sentient Barbies running around freaking out about their outdated hairstyles and whatnot.

I’m still struggling with iPhone car charger stuff, but I thought I’d post an update since my first whinings on the subject. Just an FYI that the continuation of the saga is in the comments section of that first post, since that’s where all the relevant info lies. Thanks again to you helpers!

I’ve been attempting to purchase a vehicle charger for my iPhone ever since I first got it, and so far, no luck. I’ve bought and promptly returned three different models (two Griffins from an AT&T and an InCase model from an Apple store), and ALL of them cause screechingly terrible interference with my car stereo. (Said interference completely disappears as soon as I unplug either the charger or the phone.)

Next up, I’m trying out the InCharge Travel set, per a recommendation from an Apple employee.

The thing that kills me is, Apple has to be aware of this problem. All the reviews of these chargers on their website are very vocal about this — I’m definitely not the only one. And yet, there only exist shitty third-party chargers that cause massive and weird interference. (Some people even get FM radio interference. From a CHARGER.) And a call to their tech support pretty much resulted in the guy browsing the Apple store online, like I’ve already spent MANY HOURS doing. Thanks, buddy. (I know he probably just wanted to help, but what I really wanted was for the issue to get escalated to someone who might actually know something about this phenomenon. No dice.)

So why hasn’t Apple come out with its own superior, interference-free charger, instead of selling tons of shitty third-party models that everyone bitches about? Is it because they can’t find a solution to this problem? That doesn’t seem very Apple-y, but who knows. A friend who’s tech-savvier about this sort of thing than I am basically said there was no way around this problem, since the iPhone just sends and receives way too much data and essentially winds up functioning as a giant receiver whenever it’s charging.

But I’m not giving up yet, oh no! I just have to go out of my way to make sure every vendor I shop at has a liberal return policy. Input welcome if any imaginary readers/iPhone users out there have found a non-sucky car charger!

So this iPhone thing is pretty damn cool. But I have to say, I feel pretty damn slow on the whole “über-intuitive Apple interface” thing. Given that I’ve never owned an iPod, or even a decent MP3 player or a complicated phone, I feel pretty behind. I only even touched iTunes a few months ago, and I managed to royally screw up all libraries of all music in a few short hours.

That said, I’m damn proud of how well I’ve done so far! Apple’s pedantic but clear videos helped some, and fellow iPhone owners also weighed in with some good tips. I managed to get some great apps, like a Wikipedia button and of course Bejeweled. I’m bummed to learn that the iPod version of Peggle doesn’t work on my phone, but perhaps it will someday soon.

And OH MY GOD, I can listen to MUSIC and write EMAILS and TEXTS and NOTES and APPOINTMENTS and look up DIRECTIONS and take PICTURES, ALL WITH THE SAME DEVICE. I know this is old news for many, but it’s brand-spankin-new for me, and I friggin’ love it. I can’t get over how functional and efficient I am! Read the rest…

[16:38] ginnielizz: What was the formula again for darkening an HTML color code?
[16:38] ginnielizz: For example, say I want to make 303030 darker
[16:38] Hasukawa: 202020
[16:38] Hasukawa: I’m going to explain it now. Pedantic boyfriend.
[16:38] ginnielizz: Thank you. I meant to get it explained earlier.
[16:38] Hasukawa: The six digits define the red, green, and blue values, in that order.
[16:39] Hasukawa: The first two digits are red, the second two are green, and the last two are blue.
[16:39] Hasukawa: Each two-digit combination is in hexadecimal, or base-16.
[16:39] Hasukawa: Which means instead of each digit going from 0 through 9, each digit goes from 0 through 9, all the way through F.
[16:39] Hasukawa: So 00 is two zeroes, which is 0. FF is two sixteens, which is 256.
[16:40] Hasukawa: 80 is (8 x 16) + (0 x 16)
[16:40] Hasukawa: Which is 128.
[16:41] Hasukawa: Wait, hmm. Maybe I explained that wrong.
[16:41] ginnielizz: Wow. So… who the hell decided to use BASE SIXTEEN for this? I’m just curious.
[16:41] ginnielizz: Because, you know, what the fuck.
[16:41] Hasukawa: Good question. :)
[16:41] ginnielizz: I like base ten. It’s friendly. It’s zero-tastic.
[16:41] ginnielizz: It’s mathalicious.
[16:41] ginnielizz: It is SANE.
[16:41] Hasukawa: So 303030 is the equivalent of “48 red 48 green 48 blue”
[16:41] Hasukawa: Meaning that all three hues are equal, which makes it grey.
[16:41] ginnielizz: Because 3×16=48
[16:41] ginnielizz: Aha.
[16:42] Hasukawa: If you change it to 803030, the red value is now 128, while the green and blue are still 48. Which means it’ll be pinkeh.
[16:42] ginnielizz: See, my way was going to be visiting http://www.drpeterjones.com/colorcalc/ and plugging in random numbers until things were pretty.
[16:42] ginnielizz: It’s what us ex-software-testers do.
[16:42] Hasukawa: You could do that, too. I’m just trying to explain the math behind it.
[16:42] ginnielizz: Right, I appreciate that.
[16:42] Hasukawa: And why changing 808080 to 303030 makes it darker.
[16:42] ginnielizz: Gotcha.
[16:42] ginnielizz: That makes sense, sort of.
[16:42] ginnielizz: Given that I haven’t balanced a checkbook in like six years, this should be fun.
[16:43] Hasukawa: Hang on, I’m wrong.
[16:43] ginnielizz: Hehe, good.
[16:43] ginnielizz: Because it only sort of made sense.
[16:43] Hasukawa: The first digit is the “tens” digit, essentially.
[16:43] Hasukawa: The second digit is the “ones” digit.
[16:43] ginnielizz: Or the “sixteens”.
[16:43] Hasukawa: Yeah, exactly.
[16:43] Hasukawa: So where 84 in base ten is (8 x 10) + (4 x 1), 84 in base 16 is (8 x 16) + (4 x 1)
[16:43] ginnielizz: My new life goal is to reform this system before I turn 30. What do you think?
[16:43] Hasukawa: hahaha
[16:43] ginnielizz: Pretty accomplishable?
[16:43] ginnielizz: I think so.
[16:44] ginnielizz: That, and start my own business. Aside from the business of reforming the inane base-sixteen color system.
[16:44] Hasukawa: Well, HTML also accepts things like “font color = red”, I think. I just don’t know where that stuff is defined.
[16:44] Hasukawa: W3C standards, I guess.
[16:44] Hasukawa: hahaha… “BLANCHEDALMOND”
http://www.w3schools.com/html/html_colornames.asp
[16:44] Hasukawa: BLANCHED
[16:44] Hasukawa: ALMOND
[16:44] Hasukawa: BITCH
[16:44] ginnielizz: Fuck W3C.
[16:44] ginnielizz: You heard me.
[16:44] ginnielizz: Because it doesn’t accept “slightly bluish turquoise, only darker”
[16:44] ginnielizz: I tried.
[16:44] ginnielizz: You’re a base-sixteen pedantic color whore.
[16:44] ginnielizz: I love you.
[16:45] ginnielizz: Seeya tonight.
[16:45] Hasukawa: Yes, ma’am.
[16:45] ginnielizz: I’m blogging this.
[16:45] Hasukawa: Leave out the part where I totally fucked up the math.
[16:45] ginnielizz: No, it’s funnier that way.
[16:45] Hasukawa: Or leave it in, and also leave in the part where I say “leave out the part where I totally fucked up the math”
[16:46] ginnielizz: Right-o.

[17:20] ginnielizz: Okay, so I’m happy to know how it works and all, but that website I sent you is SO much easier!  I just push the buttons for plus or minus R, G or B and it shows you visually what the color becomes.
[17:20] Hasukawa: I wasn’t trying to make things easier for you, I was trying to complicate it further in your head by botching the explanation of the math behind hexadecimal code.
[17:21] ginnielizz: I know, haha.  You succeeded.
[17:21] ginnielizz: Well done.

Seriously. Who even reads this?

Thanks to Christian’s help, I can now sort of answer that question, but it doesn’t help much. I pretty much just get spam comments for Levitra now. Which is truly my own fault — it’s been SO LONG since I’ve paid this poor blog proper attention. The hiatus has been largely due to some tech issues, and they’re now mostly solved, at last.

And thanks, too, to help from my dear “domestic partner”, as the kids are calling it these days. Having a free in-house graphic designer pretty much rocks. This and my newly-revamped skincare website, AllEyesOnHer.com, sport rockin’ graphics and customized tweaks that were all the work of The Amazing Grant.

In all my tech-unsavvy months of waiting, I’ve been mentally saving up all these witty blog posts that are now rendered totally pointless. So why don’t I just give you an abridged version? (Yep, New Imaginary Readers, trust me: this *is* abridged for me. Check the archives.)

Outdated Post #1: People Dress Like Idiots

Case(s) in point: Drop-waisted coats are probably the ugliest and most unflattering trend of 2007.

That, or the stupid tuck-your-jeans-into-boots thing. Especially when those jeans are baggy and those boots are tight. COME on, people! Not flattering! Katie Holmes, for shame.

These girls all look dumb. This makes me sad. Trends do not have to be so regrettable. Sigh. Alas, two years from now when everyone’s over the totally hot drop-waisted coat fad, they’ll probably start to grow on me.

Outdated Post #2: What is Up with the Pumpkins?

I went for a walk with my friend Jill around Green Lake, just before Thanksgiving. And there were TONS of pumpkins discarded all over the lake! Very strange. It was well after Halloween, and it was as if the entire neighborhood had collectively decided to litter their old squashes there. And, I mean, that’s a nice neighborhood, ya know? You don’t see trees strewn with TP in all the front yards of Green Lake houses after Halloween. So why the pumpkins?

I mean seriously. Throw away your pumpkins, people. What happens when they rot? Are you trying to poison the ducks?

…Yeah, so that’s pretty much been it these past few months — bitchin’ about ugly clothes and fruit litter. Oh, and I don’t have a JOB, as I was let go exactly two weeks after Grant was laid off from HIS job back in October, so yeah. But Grant’s just accepted a great new position, and I’ve been juggling lots of interviews and things are looking much better now that we’re in the new year, so hurrah! 2008 is all about being in a job you actually enjoy, with people you like to work with. Thankfully, the interviews I’ve been on so far have only been with exceptional people, and even if nothing comes of it, it’s been a refreshing start to the year!

But yeah, being unemployed and all, I really have no excuse for not having blogged all this time. I’ll make it up to you, Imaginary Readers. I promise.